Well I'm feeling all better, and then the day that I'm ready to go back to classes it blizzards! So I missed a most of the week worth of classes. Do I feel like a slacker or what. ug.

I'm still a little disappointed Sarah wasn't able to come visit. But safety is really really important. She's going to be coming up Martin Luther King Day weekend so woot! All is not lost!

I was talking to Nigaki, I want to be an American Kana. ^__^ Big Lacey Gothic Lolita Dress. Techno. Wailing. Screeching. And then utter amusement as I watch the audience hold their ears and leave. I want to be Kana. XD *laughs* Poor Sounding Emo+Gothic Lolita=American Kana? I'm wondering if she's closer to Bjork actually....hmm...

I'm rediscovering all of the Utada Hikaru I used to liked so much. I'm still sort of disappointed in her more recent stuff. Just isn't the same. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just don't like it as much as her stuff on Distance. I can't find my Distance album either! So now I need to download all the songs from it. Which wouldn't usually be difficult. But I mean, sometimes it's a little hard finding the Hayatochi Remix.

I mean, I've always had a few Hikki songs on my harddrive for sentimental reasons. But usually that's just "For You", "Parody", and "Hikari". I used to be the biggest fangirl of her. I guess that's what happens when she goes down hill.

Alright. And here's a little thingy that's been going around. *hopeful*

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

2. Am I lovable?

3. How long have you known me?

4. When and how did we first meet?

5. What was your first impression?

6. Do you still think that way about me now?

7. What do you think my weakness is?

8. Do you think I'll get married?

9. What makes me happy?

10. What makes me sad?

11. What reminds you of me?

12. If you could give me anything what would it be?

13. How well do you know me?

14. When's the last time you saw me?

15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

16. Do you think I could kill someone?

17. Describe me in one word.

18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?

19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

ok. I'm sick as a dog. and dizzy.

*whine* it was just a stuffy nose yesterday!!

ug....I even skipped classes. which is bad.

*whine* why do bodies have to be so weak. I don't want to be sick. *whine whine whine*

ug.....dizzy....I'm going back to vegging on the couch with tons and tons of blankets and unfrozen pop ice.

I don't like being so weak!!

Probably some of you have heard me brag about how I never get sick.

Well....I have a small head cold. Nothing big, but none the less. Wow. It's just a stuffy nose, but none the less....wow. I have a cold.

Anyways. cute quiz:

Thanksgiving was awesome. Spent a wonderful time with my family. And then had a great time with my friends too. I feel really blessed and loved.

=D I've been eating leftovers and my grandmother's amazing pickles. And I'm going to be working on a new layout soon. I've been watching some of the Naruto episodes Dan gave me. The third ending theme is just too cute for words. I heard the song for it before which was sort of a "WTF" moment. But seeing the animation for it is just too cute. Orange Range is messed up.

I still think Dan should cosplay Rock Lee. I just need to figure out how to tackle him and tape on fuzzy eyebrows. *is probably going to get killed mercilessly in my sleep for that....but what the hell XD*

I'm all drunk on turkey. ahhh.

To animetachi, I found out that I WILL be coming home actually. I'll be there tomorrow afternoon. ^___^

mmm...I'm full and happy.

Dinner was great, as usual for dinners prepared by my grandmother. Such an amazing cook. We had some guests, a man who has been helping out my grandmother for a while, and a family from Istanbul. Their eldest son is named Eren and was one of the most well behaved, polite, quiet, yet still happy little 3rd grader I've ever met. Really smart too. We were going over number tables and spelling over dinner.

My grandmother's new toy dog Sassy has been stealing the show though. She's a little tiny white rat terrier puppy and happens to be the cutest little thing. Everyone doesn't like my sweet ratties though. =( They're both very sweet, but they aren't giving them the time of day...cept my aunt leslie =D she's cool.

ahh....sleepy and full. And I'm in an extended phone area so no phone calls or else it cost like $2 a minute.

I've been reading Haruki Murakami's Dance Dance Dance. I read Norwegian Wood last year and really liked it so now I'm trying Dance Dance Dance.

I really like his characters, and then sometimes they annoy me. Especially the narrator for this one. He's very insightful, but he has alot of problems. I sort of have an opinion that how you see the world changes everything in your life. What sort of "glasses" one has. If someone sees the better of other people and sees where positive change is possible, then things will run in a more positive direction than a person put in the same situation but with a less functional look in the world. That's not to say that bad things don't happen to good people, but overall how a person sees the world and their place in the world can change alot in the long run.

The narrator of Dance Dance Dance has problems in my opinion. I don't know what those problems are, but just by noticing how he descibes his view of the world lets me know. He's been broken by life. Which is saddening.

Another thing about Dance Dance Dance that's making me think. Is the adult world really as dull, lifeless, and melancholy as Murakami-sensei writes it? Do people get up, brush their teeth, drink cheap coffee, go to work, sit through hours of meaningless paperwork, have polite unemotional conversation with coworkers, come home, watch a little meaningless television, take out the trash, feed the cat, pay a few bills, then fall asleep, repeating the whole process over again...for days...and months....and years...

I think I'll like being a teacher. Children are always interesting. I don't think I would let myself become so lifeless. Even if work is hard, I wouldn't let myself be broken like that. Maybe worldweary at points, but never broken. Never lost in white noise.

But then again, what can I do to stop it if it is inevitable? It's inevitable that people grow up, but does that mean people have to stop dreaming too? Stop feeling? It's too saddening.

In a recent discussion with everyone's favorite punching bag, I came to the conclusion that Dan has a death wish. Just like the croc hunter....cept different.

Croc Hunter-Dan Style:
*uber fake australian accent* Today we're going to adventure into the wilds of the girl's locker room! Ooooh look! Here's a magnificent specimine right here! Let's see what happens when we poke it with a stick!

=D

We love you Dan. Yes we do.

You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are
sweet, caring, and a source of energy for
everyone around you. You can inspire others
with your creativity and depth, and you can
keep people alive when in times of famine.
People love you...or at least the way you
taste.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love you all. You all rock so much and I probably don't deserve friends like you all. You guys rock. Thanks for putting up with my funk.

I was having a wonderful dream last night...lots and lots and lots of really great deserts. There were spiced perfectly and tasted great and weren't increadably filling. I don't think I like the feeling of full. Maybe it's because I get bloated easily. But they were all delicious. There was this wonderful cinnamon fruit tart. And then there was a cream lemon cake. And a blueberry and cranberry tortlette. And a light chocolate mousse with dark chocolate layer on top. And even more than that. Everything was spiced just right and so delicious and didn't give me that bloated feeling. Ahhh. good dream.

Then it morphed into where I was sitting in some field on a hill. A beautiful sunny field on some farm. There was even a little overgrown gravel path. And there was guy in a white/grey cloak. The cloak looked rather like a thin bell. I didn't feel in danger but I felt that it'd probably be wise to run away from him. But I still gave him a chance to speak cause it's unfair not to let others get an answer in. He said "Why have you forsaken me. You have forgotten me therefor you have forsaken me." I knew for sure he wasn't a deity or anything so I ran the fuck away. I was in a huge field so I was able to. So I ran. But his words kept following me and made me feel guilty. And then I thought, "There's no one here that would make remembering worth it." And that made me feel a little less guilty and then I stopped dreaming and really fell asleep.

Usually my dreams aren't this detailed or make this much....sense. It was different. Not a normal dream. (Normal meaning really really screwed up. Like going to a Watermelon competition in Chicago during a sandstorm with my ex-coworker and dog. That sort of screwed up.)

I managed to get download finished. Miyavi live doing a performance of Hatachi Kinenbi. He's just too cute. It's sort of refreshing watching it, because as silly and feminine he can be I sometimes forget how well he can just "rock out". He's a friggin rock star. It makes me wish I could have seen that Live. ahhhh. *daydream* I wish I could have been there.

The more I think about things...the more I never want to be anyone but myself. Even if I have problems, even if sometimes things aren't the best, even if I can be lazy and emotional, I still exist. For some strange reason I exist. It's why I like watching stars so much. It's such a huge world. The star stretch out seemingly endlessly. I'm just a speck, even less than a speck, not even a atom, maybe an uber microatom, in comparison to the universe. And yet I still exist. For some strange reason I exist. Death doesn't scare me as much as not existing does. Not existing sounds like the most lonely experience possible. You don't even have thoughts and memories to keep one company. Just....nothing.

Perhaps existing is a tiring experience. I know I grow tired when I dream too much. Not sleep, dream. I feel exhasted after some dreams. When I think about some of the things I've learned in this world, about how difficult change is and how somethings will never change...it makes me feel very tired.

I think I need to learn how to just Be better. Stop thinking so much and just learn to live. Maybe I already know how and just don't know that I do or how to start.

I miss my friends and family. *mope*

The sky was perfect for the lunar eclipse last night. But true to character the red tint gave me the friggin willies. I was with others so it was ok. But did it have to turn red?! Arg.

It was still really beautiful to watch though. The stars were amazing. No Aurora though.

Stuff like that makes me feel wonderfully insignificant. I'm so tiny in such a vast universe. I'm tiny. My problems are tiny. And yet I still exist in such a beautiful immense world. I was blessed enough to exist. Space is so beautiful.

"Falling is Like This" by Ani DiFranco is a fun song. It's just very sweet. It reminds me of Lemongrass Tea.

One of Heidi's good friends from high school got shipped off to Iraq. She's a little upset about that. Is this going to turn into a lengthy bloody war? It's already hard on the people of Iraq, but is that going to spread to the US as well?

I'll call you tomorrow night Mom, ok?

I have absolutely nothing important to say. Yet I still feel like posting =D

I don't know why, but I've been in the mood to listen to Marcy Playground's "Sex and Candy" over and over again.

I managed to find a gift for Sarah because she was so cool and came up to visit me for my birthday and cleaned everything, even though I wasn't there to hang out with her which sucked ass. I was thinking of sewing her a Merry plushie, but Suncoast was selling Legolas shot glasses and I couldn't pass them up. So yes. LotR shot glasses for Sarah.

There was another song around the same time as Sex and Candy...about people that just disappeared. I can't remember the song name or anything. Does anyone know? People that would just disappear. The lead singer had dark hair and the video had this weird ass girl out of a porno or something and then they were driving around in a car. And the entire song is about people disappearing. I can't remember it. It had this really catchy beat too. I wish I could remember it.

I remembering all these songs from that era. Like Brick by Ben Folds Five. NIN's Closer. those sort of things. But I can't remember that disappearing song. grrr.

It's always good to remember "May you have an interesting life" is a very potent curse.

Why can't I see any Aurora! *cry*

There still was the choice as to weither to see the new Matrix tonight, or go Aurora watching. I chose Aurora.

Hopefully I'll see some....I hope. Hope hope hope.

You are "Old Friends." You live a calm
life with the few people you really trust. You
value the constancy of long lasting
friendships. "Old friends sat on their
park bench like bookends."


Which Simon and Garfunkel song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm feeling really cheerful. It's weird. Really weird. Also my skin is killing me because the sun's been so intense. But hopefully I'll see some Aurora because of it. *hope hope hope*

I spent my weekend up at main campus ^_^ Lots of fun.

Actually what was really cool was I got to play my first game of Go. I think it's true that you can learn alot about a person by how they play Go. The same is true for Chess, but Go you can see previous moves easier.

I lost horribly. Because I continued looking too far ahead to see the moves that were right in front of me. I'd like to learn to play Go better. I think it could teach me alot more. ^_^ It is a very good mirror.

...now to find someone to actually play me. I don't think I'd like Net-Go quite as much.

Heidi has been introducing me to some American groups. (This is where you gasp at me listening to something in English that isn't Engrish) Namely Garbage and Poe.

^_^ I'm always a fan of emotional music. Also one with lots of fun twists. So does this make Erin-chan happy? Ohhh yes. Erin-chan is quite pleased.

Garbage's "Cherry Lips" is damn cute. Poppy, catchy, and about a crossdresser. ^_^

Poe's "Amazed" starts out sounding like a well written love song. Towards the end you figure out its actually about her reconciling with her father.

They're just good. They both fit into the exact parts of music I like so much. ^_^ *bounce bounce*

I have all this school work...and my brain is just going "uh uh. no way. *runs off*"

*sigh*

In other news, Nigaki, you're a amazing. A Miyavi layout to beat all Miyavi layouts, and Dan's Little Adventure directors cut. I really should write an animetachi doujinshi when I feel the inspiration. =D

Oh, I bought a bottle of sake. I must say it's an interesting drink. I can see why I've heard it said it tastes sweet and when you're happy and not so sweet when you're not so happy. Really interesting drink. Though I was cringing at the wine store. I had to ask the guy that works there "Do you have any sake?" "huh?" "Oh. I mean...*wince* sa-KI" "bottom shelf fourth row"

Ug. Sa-KI. Pet Peeve I know.

Oh well. Back to work.

This has been a really memorable birthday. Thursday night some new friends who live near main campus stayed over, they woke me up at 6am with ice cream cake. I took a test later that morning, but I did well on it so woot!

Then last night Dan, Hallie, Ben, David and I all went out for sushi. Little Tokyo has such a good environment for laughing and joking around along with good food. I ate a whole deluxe platter of sushi and if anyone knows of my eating habits that says something. Lots of great new jokes. I almost chocked a few times from some of David's comments. It was SOOO refreshing being in the company of such wonderful friends. It makes me wish I had all my friends and family with me all at once, but that'd be rather chaotic =) We then went and wandered on top of Mt Washington. I love my city. I missed my city. I missed the people in my city.

My grandfather took me out for lunch this morning. And then my grandmother came into town today too. She is such an amazing cook. She got me free-range chicken. ^_^ Really really wonderful concord grapes too. I've never had concord grapes before. Sure, everyone's had the jelly, but the actual fruit? I can see why people make jelly to taste like them.

I feel really bad that I couldn't see my friend Sarah. She was supposed to visit me but I really needed to go home and also my grandmother rarely takes visits. I was planning on visiting home mid-semester so I left all my winter clothing at home...and now it's friggin freezing and I have tank tops and sandles to wear.

Definitely been a very memorable birthday though. And it wasn't even a traditional 21 birthday. (aka 21 shots and then 21 pukes. I have barely any alcohol tolerance anyways). I had a glass of wine at dinner. *nods* But I had sushi, taco salad, traditional kentuky fried chicken (my great-grandmother was a southerner and it's her recipe), concord grapes, spoon bread (another souther recipe used on in a now yankee household), green beans, and a wonderful pear and cranberry cobbler.

Oh! I want to talk about spoon bread actually.

I love family traditions. Generally because I come from a very "old money" family. We don't exactly have the money of that old money, but we have the heirlooms and traditions, and I love all of them.
One of them is spoonbread. Spoonbread is a starch served at dinner. Most American faimlies use some sort of potato dish. We have a thick extremely moist (to the point of falling apart) corn meal based side dish. It's made out of corn meal, a specific ground type of corn meal. It's very easy to make if you can find the corn meal. But a year or two ago, the remaining manufacture of the corn meal said they were discontinuing it. This was a bit upsetting because it's a tradition for at least 3 generations that I am aware of. I thought we had had our last spoonbread last thanksgiving. I was pleasantly surprized to find out that the manufactures decided to continue making the corn meal. So I had spoonbread. And things were good. It makes me want to have kids so I can serve them spoonbread. I love traditions.

But either way. I'm an adult now. Wow. *laughs* Not that I didn't know I could be as emotionally and intellectually mature as some, but....I'm too irresponcible and playful about some things. It's sort of weird. Do I become boring now? *laughs* I guess I get to. =)

Happy birthday to me! ^_^

I'm legal! I've had such a memorable birthday so far...and ironically not a drop of alcohol yet.

Oh and Ben, we all know you're "Metro-Sexxy" =D

Oh. My. Dear. God. The SHOXX's arrived.
*thus begins the squealing, swooning, and overall fangirling*

I should probably start on Pura, because I know once I start ranting on Miyavi I won't be able to stop.

The particular shoot they did for the November issue reminds of....a mental patient's room. All the drawings on the walls and floors. Cept no straight jackets. Just really baggy flannel and pants that don't quite fit. Of course being the Ryuutarou fangirl that I am, only really noticed him. I'm so horrible to the rest of the Plastic Tree members. Akira's a good guitarist and all....but...*dreamy sigh* Ryuutarou. Mildly disinterested, or just sort of coasting in some less aware state. I like the look. ^_^ It's grungy but it's....80's grunge? *shakes head* I don't know, but I still like it. I really need to learn massive amounts of kanji so I can read the interviews demmit!

The smaller section they have in the October issue on Ryuutarou is cute. I love the color red and all...but I don't like it as much as the grunge. I dunno. Not the same level of emotion. Still cute though =D

Alright. Thus starts the Miyavi fangirling.

Miyavi. Is. Sexy.
And I think I figured out why.

The text on one set of pictures of him (he's playing around with a removable shower head thing) says "The attractive and mischievous man had changed nothing from his childhood". My reason for saying this? He's playful. The mischievous, flirty, and a very playful sort of arrogant makes him just amazingly attractive. It doesn't help that he's increadably talented. *fangirling* He's just so damn comfortable with himself.

...and this is me just ranting of PICTURES! =D I'm not even going to get started on how talented a musician he is.

The small section of him in the November issue, "Miyavis". Even more proof of how comfortable and playful he is. I haven't found anyone who can pull off an Vegas-style Elvis jumpsuit quite like him.

I really need to find a scanner....

New layout up. Wanna know why it looks good? Cause it's friggin old!!!

Damn lack of quality art inspiration...*mutters*

In other news. I forgot to call my mom. She's probably worried.

And~ I'm currently addicted to hyper cheerful poppy music. Like the theme song to GALS. Also lots and lots of Morning Musume. So sugary and happy I'm getting cavities....and this is ME we're talking about.

I'm really craving sushi. Really good sushi.

I'm starting to realize how precious it is that my life has been so peaceful. No war. No uber major deaths. No abuse. Caring, loving, giving, peaceful environment. Things aren't perfect...but they're wonderful. Things could be so much worse. So very very much worse. There is no such thing as a good war or a bad peace.