Rock on! I found out from my EPP ML that the Today Show had a segment on a sundown type camp. =) One for kids with sun sensitivity.

ok. my real question is WHY DIDN'T THEY HAVE THAT AT MY AGE!

*laughs* just kidding. =) I'm glad all the kiddies get to have lots and lots of fun.

But they interviewed a boy with porphyria. wow. a year ago I would have said that I'm the only one in all of existance that I know with this condition. no no, not year. MONTHS.

I emailed the camp and asked if they needed any help in terms of conselors. =D Hopefully they get back to me. That would be so much fun for next summer. Helping out all the little kids and not having to be restricted in anyway either. Not to mention it all sounds fun for myself too. =)

I want to write something incredably deep. But I don't want to so nya =p =D

*dance dance* sugar is good. I've been all productive with cleaning my room. Getting ready for college now so that I can have as much fun with the people I care about as possible in the next few weeks.

Life is good. I'm making new friends and loving my current ones more. I'm going to be spending time with my family near and far if everything goes well. And ya know what. Even Jones soda thinks things are going well *got a cap that said "You're heading the right direction"*

*dance dance* I think I'm going to play a little DDR or practice some martial arts soon. It'd help my endurance. *laughs* my body is sooo out of shape. *stretch stretch flex flex*

*runs off to practice palm strikes*

Whenever something tremendously good happens something tremendously bad happens afterwards. I've learned to hold onto the good as tightly as possible so I keep standing.

Two of my former mentors are going to be moving to Denver. They were parental figures to me for a long time and have been a definite shaping factor of who I am today. They'll both be disappointed that I've turned from the Christian church. Not God, no. I could never turn my back on whatever Deities are out there. That's like plugging your ears and closing your eyes and humming and pretending that something doesn't exist when really it's standing right in front of you giving you a 'you're being a real idiot you know that?' look. But I'm turning from the church myself. I have been of the belief for a long time that if something is so true it will prove itself. There is alot about Christian doctrine that's proved itself correct. But there is alot that has proved itself wrong to me. I can't in good concience follow it anymore. Not to even pile onto the mound of grieviences I have against the church this whole gay bishop thing. I used to belong to an Episcopal church myself. My problem with the whole issue? They're one of the conservative ones. The entire dioscese is conservative in fact. My father? Stanch conservative. My mother's a liberal though =) But my father talks more. *laughs*

Either way, unlike some who would believe that I'm turning from the path of truth, I know in my heart I'm just continuing on. I'm determined to find the truth of who I am. Of my place in the world. Of what the world really is. Besides, as Dan said once "Success is the best revenge"

I feel immensely loved. I'm not quite sure it get better than this. It might. Actually it can. Everyone I love could feel this loved too. ^__^ I'll try my best to make this dream come true.

I really like the ending theme to Naruto. Most of the time I have to be pulled kicking and screaming to watch anything Tomo recommends. Mostly cause lots of fighting isn't really my thing. But I like Naruto. I'd like to hug a few of them. give them a big hug and say "you can do it! I believe you!" The ending theme is also really sweet. Most of the time I either laugh or cringe at Engrish, but this is so...charming. It makes me smile.

Nigaki's leaving for college in two weeks. Thinking about her gone really shows me what a large void that would be. She's such a completely irreplacable individual. It makes me want to cry.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to deal with college myself. so far I've gained so much weight back and I really hope I don't loose it. I'm a damn proud 145. That's record for me. I've never been 145 before. Then again I've never been this proud of my existance before. That also makes me want to cry. I used to feel so guilty of my existance. I've never felt so loved and blessed and never really realized I had meaning. I think this is a new beginning for me. The beginning of a new chapter on figuring out exactly who I am. I think I'm finally starting to learn what living really is. The smiling faces of my friends and family spread to me. And with tears in my eyes I will smile wide.

I am feeling SO damn blessed. I've been recieveing some of the most thoughtful wonderful gifts left and right. ^__^ I feel sooooo loved.

ahhh breakfast time.

well...Adelphia sucks and I didn't have the net for a couple days. ah well.

I've been getting so much mail. It makes me so happy ^_^
I got a letter and a pin from Hi-chan (thank you so much it's so cute *sticks it on my hat*)
I got a postcard from the beach (thank you!! though you're probably back from the beach by the time you read this. I hope you got lots and lots of rest like you said you are)
and Van-kun's sending me Weird Al CD's. I'm just being overloaded with so many care packages, large and small. =)

Work was ok today. I got out on time and Sandy complimented me again. ^__^ *happy* not to mention when I left work there was some wonderfully refreshing rain falling. *twirled around in it for a bit*

I'm going to do my laundry and do a little shopping. *nod nods* ^_^

Oh. and if the net dies on me again, people who know my cell call me. If you don't know my cell then it's posted on my lj under friends list. if you don't have the money to call my cell then call it once so I get your number than I can call back cause I have lots of minutes.

Why does LJDrama.com remind me of the Jerry Springer show....

....*shrugs*

I'm feeling much much better. *stretches* A long bath, a quick grocery run with Dan and Tomo, a good night's sleep (with weird ass dreams included XD) and waking up to a beautiful thunderstorm. mmm. I'm feeling gooood~ *dance dance dance*

Don't forget lots of Plastic Tree, Malice Mizer, Mindless Self Indulgence, and of course Miyavi thanks to Nigaki. =D

My legs are feeling all crampy. All the activity yesterday and none today. Maybe I'll do a little DDRing after class. I only have to go in for ten minutes today too =D I'm just giving my speech and getting critiqued. I should also do a little more practicing for whenever Dan decides to give me another lesson in that nameless martial art style. That is such a fun style. I'm so scared that I'll actually damage something though. At least Tomo's learning the style I'm supposed to be countering in the first place, so rock on. =D

Maybe if I get good enough I'd be able to beat up Jaime. ku ku ku ku.

....well, I just worked 11 hours straight. if I didn't have 3 days off I'd probably curl up in a dark corner...or manage to SOMEHOW get booze.

Wow. It was a bad day. Sure, there could be worse jobs...but everything was awful, everything was late, everything was messed up, everyone was angry at me. Even my favorite server in the entire world, Adam, was all stressed out and ready to yell at the cooks. It wasn't really the fact that it was non-stop checks...but more it was non-stop messed up and late orders which meant non-stop anger. I messed up way too much and was so distracted it made me work slower which in turn made things worse. Though some of the servers I was so frustrated with....it was like "ok! Jennifer. you're order is up." "I can't serve this. make it again." "....I finally got it up for you. it's at 31 minutes" "I can't serve this. make me a new one" "....*stares at that massive amount of dishes, plates, checks, and over all chaos*.....fine".

Problem was, the other servers started doing the same thing. then they'd do it with every little thing. meanwhile it couldn't cut down on checks in the first place. so the cycle would continue. There was a point where I was about to go "Ok. Look you fucking whiney uppity snob. you see the checks. the food. and the mess. I don't want to hear a word about your food that I finally managed to get out because you are taking it out there good or not. you want a new one? make it yourself you brainless bag of feces." but I only managed to get to "Ok. Look you-" before my manager caught me and said "go work in the back. I'll take care of this. it's ok. don't worry about it." Smart manager.

Sorry. I'm ranting. There are worse jobs in the world. I shouldn't complain. Today however was a particularly bad day for this particular job so....nya. *curls up*

oh. and two quizzes. I'm not quite sure if the results are swayed by my current mood or not. The dragon quiz was fun and I took it before work so it should be ok. Lorelei would probably like to take that one *hint hint*

Angst Monkey


Which Tsuzuki-san archetype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

=D I just got vaio-chan back!! I'm typing this up on my wonderful little laptop again. They erased everything on my harddrive though, but I don't mind *huggles backups*. I just lost all my MP3s and any videos I didn't burn. Also my liscence with Winzip. Ah well. =D

Vaio-chan's back! yeah!

Also, the price for the repair was knocked down to the $290 they said it would be. Interestingly enough they also sent along with my laptop an extra battery ($100) an extra harddrive ($200) and an extra DVD rom/CD burner ($150). Wow...all I wanted was my power connection port to work again...and maybe to have my earphone jack too. The month and a half wait was worth it. *huggles vaio-chan!*

I have an hour to tinker with my baby again before work. I'm not sure if I should bring it to anime night or not....mmm...naw =D

I just found out that my cable gets MTV espanol. I've been watching spanish music videos for the past couple hours and dancing around to a few of them. *shakes hips* Latin music is so much fun.

I might actually be able to go to anime night this week. Well...I'll be a bit late. Hopefully they won't keep me over either. Maybe everyone'll be disappointed that they don't have a reason to visit me at work. *grins* I know the REAL reason why everyone visits me.

My heart hurts worrying over some of my friends. Some are in pain, some are going to be a pain to others, some will be in pain for a long time and there's no way for me to help.

At least I still have hope. I have a lot of hope for the future. I know that it's still there and the ways to truely heal are still out there. I know it. I believe in that hope.

I'm scared though. Hope has been one of the very things that's hurt one of them for too long.

I still believe though. I can't give up now.

I'm no one of importance or skill or strength, but I know where there's hope. Sometimes I hold on too long and I've learned that lesson. But I truely believe in this.

I'm so scared to tell him that...he's had enough pain.

So I'm doing the only thing I can. Believing. Believing with all my heart and soul.

In other news. My father managed to figure out what has been bugging this computer. It's been having problems for a while even though both my father and I are good with keeping computers healthy. He's better at it than I though =p But we did everything from re-installing parts of the system to defraging to even calling tech support. Ran a system wide virus scan today and found out we've got some nasty buggers. They managed to get past the firewalls and have been screwing around. I don't have a clue how....oh wait. my sisters and mother use the comp too. *sighs* e_e; They aren't incredably techno-illerate, in fact they're pretty good for not being computer geeks in anyway, but I wouldn't be surprized that they open every single piece of spam email, pass on every chain letter, and check out every link that friends send them. ^_^; *sighs*

Oh, I've been becoming more and more worried about Courtney. She's slowly becoming a person I don't like. And I don't mean in the "ahh! she's annoying the hell out of me because of XYZ". You know, the typical sister bit. No, she's becoming more and more cold and cruel. She's never really been a fan of family things, but I thought she'd grow out of that. But now she's just getting worse and worse. Picking fights, insulting everything and anything she finds even mildly distasteful, trying to find as many wrong things about the anything that has to do with our family the people in it and even anything that is associated with us (including interests). I thought it'd just be a phase...she loves us right? She loves me right? I'm not so sure anymore. It's not like Lindsay where I know that she continues to love and just has fun poking fun at all of us. Courtney has just become more and more cold hearted. I don't want to see my sister become a person I couldn't like because I love her. My syblings mean alot to me.

Well time for sleep. Sweet dreams.

It's a quiz~

Quiz
created by Polly Snodgrass.

WATER OF WATER. Pretty lady! Fair and gentle, your empathy attracts others to you. Possibly psychic, you are pure emotion and are more likely to act on feeling rather than practical thought or logic. You think that's just fine because imagination is important. You are the Whore of Babylon with her cup of abominable things, the Medium of Endor and in the mundane world you usually make a good wife and mother. You shine when you are able to give emotional support to others.

Work wasn't bad today. =) I got out on time and I even worked with the cook I liked the least and we worked well together today. She even complimented me ^__^ *happy*

I sort of feel bad though for the other cook. She's new but she's very good and also majorly anal retentive. She's all like "there's a burnt spot on the onion rings....let's pitch them all and make a new batch!" ">_>;; But...they're fine....but if you want to just pitch that onion ring." "Nope ^_^ let's just make a new batch" "^_^;;"
My replacement was the messiest cook. He's a fun guy but damn is he messy. There'll probably be lots of kitchen battling tonight.

Anyone want to do anything tonight? =D I'm free. *dance dance* Maybe anyone that is unable to hang out want a phone call? I'm feeling rather social.

...I should probably do my school work.....nah XD ...I should also organize the stuff in my room.....hm...maybe.

Still!! anyone who wants to hang or talk just give me a ring.

Bwhahaha XD *amused*

Oh, and Nigaki. You're right. Old women don't have to putter. Some can drive Cameros =D

And I don't really want to change most of the time. It's just...confusing and difficult sometimes because I don't really have anyone to follow. I have to pave every path. I have no stereotypes to fall back on. as Dan put it "guidance is hard to come by". I'm stuck between too many things. Sometimes it makes me wish I wasn't so....me. But I don't think I could imagine being anything but me.

o_o; I figured out a few things today.

My car reaks of loneliness. It's where I think the most and very often get the most depressed.

Some things are better left as memories.

I need examples in my life to prove anything to me.

I need to act my friggin age and stop puttering around like an old woman....then again acting my own age involves massive amounts of alchohol and destructive behavior.

Corsettes will always be painful and will always look good.

I still see the world differently than most people and there isn't a thing that I can do to change it as much as I may wish it.

o__o;; I always have dreams that the brakes on my car completely give out. I just coast everywhere and hope not to get caught in traffic. At least in this one it was the middle of the night...though it WAS on top of Mt Washington >_>;;;

I'm hopefully seeing Pirates of the Caribbean again with the rest of animetachi. ^_^ Sometimes working midnightshifts makes everything better. Yeah for zombieness tomorrow! XD

I wonder if I should start dressing the part....hm...perhaps I will.

Ok. time to go take a bath and grab some swedish fish.

=D I have joined the ranks of Depp fangirls.

Wow. He MADE the movie. That film could have been completely and utterly stereotypical disney film (TM). Depp made it interesting. There was a big worry at the end though. The girl! There could have been Got The Girl (TM). But no. He carresses the ship instead. XD yeeeessss. Nice save~

Also. I've been looking for a new style I like anyways. I'm always moving from style to style, cept always a step ahead of the mainstream and I think I found it. I adored Depp's style in the movie. I'm dubbing it "Pretty Pirate". I need to find stuff to put in my hair and learn how to put on eyeliner without stabbing my eye repeatedly XD

He was so cool. *fangirling* Must see movie again just for him. Eccentric people so rock. I want a Capt Jack Sparrow plushie.

I have a feeling that I'm missing something very very important. Something that I can't put my finger on. It's such a weird feeling.

I had fun tonight with Dan and Tomo. I really wish Kathryn and Nigaki could have come. I think it would have been great. We went to Kiku's and I had a whole thing of sashimi ^_^ I finished it all except the Octopi. I felt so embarrassed that I didn't speak any Japanese though except "Arigatou gozaimasu". I always get that way. >_< I want to speak more but I just get all flustered. The green tea icecream was good though a tad on the bland side.

We then ended the evening with a traditional walk along Mt Washington. ^_^ I don't think I'll ever grow tired of that. *sigh* It's always so beautiful up there.

You all don't care though XD So I'll shut up.

I saw Finding Nemo today with Rita-sempai.....because I accidentally locked myself out of my car and had to get campus security to help open it for me. That was actually a fun little adventure because I had to help out. *laughs* there was lots of times where it was like "only centimeters more >__< c'mon! reach you stupid wire!" but it made me so late that going to class would have been pointless. So I went and saw Nemo with Rita =D I hope she's doing good on her midterm. I'm glad she got a good break from it.

Take the Spirit Quiz and visit Castle Diqueria.

o_o; you know. I'd disregard the results from the first paragraph...but the second paragraph is pretty accurate. damn. *sips Rootbeer* I never know what I want because I never know what I am. I don't have a clue as to whether people think I'm dull and thoughtless though.....well then again. Dull I know I am not. Thoughtless...mmm....not sure. I AM a pretty big space case. And it is true that I don't care what others think of me...or at least most others. If the people important to me started doubting me...I wouldn't be very happy with myself.

Oh, and I got paid. lalala. I wonder where Lily-chan is. I miss her. I think I'll go look for her.

Comment - [1]

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Friday, July 18, 200301:16 PM

You are Captain Jack Sparrow! The best and worst pirate that ever lived. You like lots of jingly things in your hair and a helluva lot of eyeliner. You also have amassed a raving mass of rabid fangirls. Savvy?
What Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I still have to see this movie. I've heard good things =D Anyone want to see it Monday? I don't know my schedule past that but I wouldn't be surprized if I have Tuesday off too. I get paid Monday too XD YESSSS~ Pay daaaay~ *shakes mah bootie*

Also, I still really want to go to Kennywood sometime. I know it'll have to rely on who has work off and if it's overcast or rainy...but I really want to go. nenenene? *puppy eyes* anyone?

O_O!! *just saw the news of a school board member pouring gasoline on other members of the board and opening fire* ....>__>;; Remind me that if I ever have kids to NOT send them to that school. Kowai yo. Actually, I just had a dream recently that I was an amish girl and they poured lamp oil on me and set it on fire, I managed to escape but the entire house went down and I was a little homeless amish girl. Then again I also had a dream that I kicked the shit out of a cop because he made me clean up eggs out in broad sunlight and I ended up going nuts and went all kung foo on him. The other cops thought it was funny because that cop was supposedly a rookie. I remember explaining every little detail about EPP to the cop including the blood making processes.

Comment - [3]

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Wednesday, July 16, 200302:00 PM
I. Am. Pissed.

My neighbors are threatening to take away my precious Lily because she barked at night a couple of times. I messed up once. I didn't hear her. Now they're threatening to call the police and take away my Lily. What's worse is that I found out from my mother that when we first moved here they told us what sort of dog to get.....a cockerspaniel. >___>

The only dog they can stand is the one dog I can't stand. They're noicey, ill-tempered, unintelligent, and often have owners that have the same traits. Actually alot of dogs do have the same traits as the owners and vice-versa. Maybe I should be proud or something about how gentle Lily is. Anyways.

They're messing with my dog. If they try anything...*grin* Erin-chan won't be such a nice neighbor....maybe I'll get a bike or something and remove the muffler....and then do my usual nighttime antics....or maybe just make my nocturnal antics a lot less....compassionate.

No one messes with my Lily-chan. Grrrrr.

Comment - [4]

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Tuesday, July 15, 200312:30 PM
Risha says "mentos could kill the lot of you."

=D Risha warns me that mad 1337 martial arts skillz can't beat Mentos......or at least a sniper riffle and a card playing fanatic.

This is for you Dan.

Comment - [2]

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01:56 AM
good and bad.

I went to a meeting today for the cooks. I was one of two cooks that actually showed up. At least I got a free cookie out of it (and a damn good cookie I might add.) I found out that one of the other cooks, on that I liked and thought worked well together, that he ended up getting very very frustrated with me that one day. ._. I didn't think it was about me...I thought it was about the work load, not about me. ._. I thought he was nice. no wonder one of the managers was all like "tell Aaron he's an asshole. right now. he's right here. go." "no no! I couldn't ever do that!" "no. go ahead. tell him he's an asshole." I thought he was joking even though he seemed a little more serious than usual. ._. They're going to split up our shifts now. I won't get to work with him again. ._. I wanted to. I thought he was nice. I thought it was just a frustrating day...

On a more positive note, Dan showed me some palm strikes...or more like "er...can strike up?" "*does a couple*" "> >;; um....how about middle, like chest height" "*does so*" "*blinks* wow....you did them right." "*nervous laughs* It's all instinctual. really."

It is. It makes me feel sort of confident. Because it really is all instinctual o__o;; A brand new style, like...30 years old, and I have completely ingrained. I was also rather surprized to note that Dan's sensei is scared to meet me now O_O;; Mostly because of hearing of my rapid success he thinks I have talent...not to mention I'm studying a style that is completely counter to his own. O_O; I couldn't beat a sensei...could I? I mean...I've had 2 lessons at it....both lasting less than 30 minutes. The last one was a lot less...like...5 minutes?

Either way I want to practice it more. It really is fun. My only worry is actually hurting someone x_x; I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I hurt Dan, even accidentally. I'd like to meet his sensei though =D Also it'd probably boost Dan up to have such a good student to show his sensei. *nod nods*

Oh. And speech comp unnerves me. It's so weird hearing about human interaction and feeling like "I know WAAAAY more about this than what's the teacher does...or at least teaching" and then at other parts "I really am such a weirdo aren't I....*sigh* no wonder I feel like I'm never fully understood" ahh well. I have my absolutely precious friends. Though some of whom I really miss talking and hanging out with due to circumstances. *coughjobssuckcough*

Oh. and since my mother doesn't read my journal when I'm home:

Type 11: Tsuzuki/Hisoka. It's obvious, but they
won't admit it. It's a frustratingly sweet
pairing.

What Type Of Yaoi Couples Are You Drawn To?
brought to you by Quizilla

XD *totally predicatable....with some things*

Comment - [1]

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Monday, July 14, 200312:53 AM
Feeling better now after some tea and a walk watching the skyline.

Baaaad day at work. BAAAAD day. I have 3 days off cept for a small meeting I have to go to tomorrow. But I have class so it's more like one day off. Ah well.

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not quite sure. Do I have goals? I have high ideals, but goals? Hmmm....They definitely got the daydreamer part down and pact. The hopeless romantic too...then again that romantic side can spiral into angsty nastiness. not fun. x_x; Maybe I do have goals. I want to make the world more positive. Leaving things cleaner than how I found them. =D I want to see the northern lights. I want to learn...*counts*....4 languages. I want to find someone that will be with me no matter what. I want to beat Rita at DDR. Maybe I do have goals afterall.

Comment - [0]

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Friday, July 11, 200301:54 PM
New Layout

I. Am. A. Dork.

XD!!!!

Many thanks to Rita with whom I thought of this idea over Chickfillet...or however that's spelled. I like their wafflefries and all their charities.

Comment - [3]

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